This being in love thing is something I'm not used to.
I haven't worked out all the kinks yet because our relationship is new.
At times I get frustrated, not really sure of what it is that I should do.
I'm aware that you are an addition to my life, and already my heart belongs to you.
So when I make you angry or you are confused as to why I behave in the way I do.
Communicate to me your concerns, so we can work through anything that we need to.
For you are special to be in more ways than I can express.
We shared our friendship first, so I have no secrets to confess.
At times I question why you would even want me to be a part of your existence.
We are different in so many ways, so I never thought anything other than a friendship would make sense.
Now I realize that a relationship is something that should never be predicted.
I think about our past, I didn't see this coming. I wonder if there was a sign and I missed it?
I'm happy. The smile that I show you is identical to the one that's displayed on my face every time I hear your voice.
Throughout my entire day, I'm unable to get you out of my head, and even if I could I wouldn't make that choice.
Sometimes I make you stay on the phone, content with just hearing you breathe.
Anticipating you calling me baby, and end of conversation you telling me that you love me.
Although I tell you I miss you at least three to four times a day, in my heart I don't feel that I'm telling you enough.
And when we're having a confrontation the reason why I try to give you space is because I don't want you to leave me because things get rough.
It's kind of corny and I know you're not one of those romantic love heroes that I read about.
But when I read those love books, and the damsel in distress talks about how she feels about her prince charming, I finally know what she's talking about.
The love I feel for you pumps through my entire body and the shine I've worn for the last couple of months I wear because of you.
I'm hoping that what we share is something special. Because truly I know I'm falling in love with you.
February 11, 2009
October 16, 2008
Obama
Eyes are wide with amazement, a black man walks through the door dressed in suit and tie
Black women cry, white man nod in approval, the acknowledgement of 11% ahead, some sigh
The vote, the importance of practicing this right granted after segregation
The media covers the importance of taking part in choosing who will run our nation
Democrats vote for the their new trophy, the new symbol for change, the right of passage, finally equal opportunity exists
But how long will he survive, is the United States of America really ready for a non Caucasian president?
The risk, assassination to a completely different level, haters lurk the streets and the airways
After 9-11, all scared of Saddam Hussein, worried about bombs on planes, will the next terrorist attack happen today?
November 4th, submit my ballot, aware of new voting laws, no Obama paraphernalia at the polls, my vote does count
And as bad as I want to say that I want my president to be Mr. Barack, my prayers reach further to say please sir watch out
The polls, identical to election of 2004 when so many African American votes thrown out the door
Baby Bush, a conspiracy, no dirt, It's all in who you know, the republican campaign fight for war
Is it worth it? Run a nation, alert to all surroundings constantly looking behind your back
Held a dream all your life, that you were going to be the first US black president, so close to becoming fact
New hero for all minorities that feel like they don't belong, the impossible made possible, a new reality
A new standard, set for citizens of America, a black man running this country finally
Black women cry, white man nod in approval, the acknowledgement of 11% ahead, some sigh
The vote, the importance of practicing this right granted after segregation
The media covers the importance of taking part in choosing who will run our nation
Democrats vote for the their new trophy, the new symbol for change, the right of passage, finally equal opportunity exists
But how long will he survive, is the United States of America really ready for a non Caucasian president?
The risk, assassination to a completely different level, haters lurk the streets and the airways
After 9-11, all scared of Saddam Hussein, worried about bombs on planes, will the next terrorist attack happen today?
November 4th, submit my ballot, aware of new voting laws, no Obama paraphernalia at the polls, my vote does count
And as bad as I want to say that I want my president to be Mr. Barack, my prayers reach further to say please sir watch out
The polls, identical to election of 2004 when so many African American votes thrown out the door
Baby Bush, a conspiracy, no dirt, It's all in who you know, the republican campaign fight for war
Is it worth it? Run a nation, alert to all surroundings constantly looking behind your back
Held a dream all your life, that you were going to be the first US black president, so close to becoming fact
New hero for all minorities that feel like they don't belong, the impossible made possible, a new reality
A new standard, set for citizens of America, a black man running this country finally
October 15, 2008
Thinking
Couped up in the corner, feeling revengeful in the containment of my own bars
Choosing to stay alone, in the absence of my surroundings, shielding my audience from all the scars
In reality the demonstration of my day to day agenda may be camuflaged from my dreams that do exist
Without loosing hope I indulage myself in what many consider personal nonsence
To make a mockery of my current situation adds value to my existance
Minimizing illusions of unrelated circumstances only brings truth to what is realistic
Maturity arrises, self assurance reaches a new level as time pasts and new centuries arrive
With no responsibility of inner circle souls, I seek no one but shield thy own cries
Few will ever understand why I devour challenges thrown my way
Leaning on no one, standing independent, solo and sturdy every day
To magnify little obstacles as a life changing metemorphsis makes an ordinary event an unimaginable experience
Daydreaming of the unheard and unnoticed, collaborating by myself
to make the blind see a physical appearence
Anything is possible and day to day I find new evidence for the knowledge that I do withhold
Guilty of encapsulation of mental stimulation that I choose to forever remain unknown
Few seek or rather appreciate the brilliance of one's mind
My thoughts, my mental translation a detective will never find
Choosing to stay alone, in the absence of my surroundings, shielding my audience from all the scars
In reality the demonstration of my day to day agenda may be camuflaged from my dreams that do exist
Without loosing hope I indulage myself in what many consider personal nonsence
To make a mockery of my current situation adds value to my existance
Minimizing illusions of unrelated circumstances only brings truth to what is realistic
Maturity arrises, self assurance reaches a new level as time pasts and new centuries arrive
With no responsibility of inner circle souls, I seek no one but shield thy own cries
Few will ever understand why I devour challenges thrown my way
Leaning on no one, standing independent, solo and sturdy every day
To magnify little obstacles as a life changing metemorphsis makes an ordinary event an unimaginable experience
Daydreaming of the unheard and unnoticed, collaborating by myself
to make the blind see a physical appearence
Anything is possible and day to day I find new evidence for the knowledge that I do withhold
Guilty of encapsulation of mental stimulation that I choose to forever remain unknown
Few seek or rather appreciate the brilliance of one's mind
My thoughts, my mental translation a detective will never find
October 14, 2008
Surprise
Probaly the best birthday present I've received in a long time
Introduced to my sister I never knew I had, but now after 23 years she's all mine
My father a baby factory specializing in the production of girls
Yet the bastard managed to escape from all of our worlds
So now we're older and plenty of time has gone by
No need to dwell on the past, we will make up for lost time
The relationship we share now never existed before
I will work hard to maintain this friendship because I want so much more
I want us to be close, I believe she is the best friend I never met.
Now that she's in my life she is a fixture I won't ever forget
I'm grateful to get to know her, and am excited about what the future will bring
I look forward to meeting her, chilling, hanging out and everything
We have the same father, different mothers yet we still are a lot alike in a lot of ways
Which is crazy, five states away yet so many similarities
A quarter pounder, chinky eyes, wanting to succeed.
My sister finding me makes me feel so much more complete.
Introduced to my sister I never knew I had, but now after 23 years she's all mine
My father a baby factory specializing in the production of girls
Yet the bastard managed to escape from all of our worlds
So now we're older and plenty of time has gone by
No need to dwell on the past, we will make up for lost time
The relationship we share now never existed before
I will work hard to maintain this friendship because I want so much more
I want us to be close, I believe she is the best friend I never met.
Now that she's in my life she is a fixture I won't ever forget
I'm grateful to get to know her, and am excited about what the future will bring
I look forward to meeting her, chilling, hanging out and everything
We have the same father, different mothers yet we still are a lot alike in a lot of ways
Which is crazy, five states away yet so many similarities
A quarter pounder, chinky eyes, wanting to succeed.
My sister finding me makes me feel so much more complete.
September 18, 2008
Mommy
Though time goes by and it may seem that I do not appreciate everything that you do.
Please realize that this is not the case, most of the time the only person I can depend on is you.
So yes my tattoos may make you wonder, what kind of daughter did you raise?
And yes the 12 years of private school will benefit my future days.
And in the end I have you to thank, for making me who I am today.
While you are disappointed in my actions, all I can do is pray.
That eventually one day you will be able to understand that I can only live to be me.
I have to be independent and experience my life even though you don't agree.
I listen to everything you tell me, though I may not practice everything that you preach.
Doesn't mean stop telling me what I don't want to hear, I need you here to teach.
I know I'm hard headed, I know I'm ungrateful, I know I only think of myself.
I also know how to ignore what you're saying and pretend you're talking to somebody else.
Now that I'm older, even as an adult I'm still sensitive to your view.
But you also taught me to be strong, so the strength I have, I got it from you.
Being unique and independent, is also something else you taught me to be.
So even at times when I piss you off, I know one day you'll be proud of me.
Please realize that this is not the case, most of the time the only person I can depend on is you.
So yes my tattoos may make you wonder, what kind of daughter did you raise?
And yes the 12 years of private school will benefit my future days.
And in the end I have you to thank, for making me who I am today.
While you are disappointed in my actions, all I can do is pray.
That eventually one day you will be able to understand that I can only live to be me.
I have to be independent and experience my life even though you don't agree.
I listen to everything you tell me, though I may not practice everything that you preach.
Doesn't mean stop telling me what I don't want to hear, I need you here to teach.
I know I'm hard headed, I know I'm ungrateful, I know I only think of myself.
I also know how to ignore what you're saying and pretend you're talking to somebody else.
Now that I'm older, even as an adult I'm still sensitive to your view.
But you also taught me to be strong, so the strength I have, I got it from you.
Being unique and independent, is also something else you taught me to be.
So even at times when I piss you off, I know one day you'll be proud of me.
September 16, 2008
Pray
'I ain't no girl', my little soldier feels that he got to prove himself.
At only three years old my son is already a mess.
I love my baby boy from the bottom of my heart.
As he gets older more often than ever I got to tear his little ass apart.
Thinking he grown, he done stepped to me at least twice.
Being a black woman, of course he paid the price.
Sometimes he forgets how far it is that he can go.
I remind him with the quickness, yes you already know.
At a tender age of three my son surprises me everyday.
My saddest moment is when my son has to go away.
The separation for two weeks is a break but a misery in one.
Because it just doesn't feel normal when I don't have my son.
When I look at him I can only smile, that's my little man.
I will forever be his hero, and together we will stand.
With God in our lives, there will always be a way.
Which is why I teach my son, to pray each and every day.
At only three years old my son is already a mess.
I love my baby boy from the bottom of my heart.
As he gets older more often than ever I got to tear his little ass apart.
Thinking he grown, he done stepped to me at least twice.
Being a black woman, of course he paid the price.
Sometimes he forgets how far it is that he can go.
I remind him with the quickness, yes you already know.
At a tender age of three my son surprises me everyday.
My saddest moment is when my son has to go away.
The separation for two weeks is a break but a misery in one.
Because it just doesn't feel normal when I don't have my son.
When I look at him I can only smile, that's my little man.
I will forever be his hero, and together we will stand.
With God in our lives, there will always be a way.
Which is why I teach my son, to pray each and every day.
Settle
This single mom shit, working my ass off every single day.
Has been so exhausting and I need your help in a physical way.
I talk a lot about not needing you, and in fact you can be replaced.
But in reality, this is your son, so indeed this is your space.
I work hard, to do what I can, to provide your son with the best.
What I would do to go back in time, I wouldn't be alone handling this mess.
I'm not saying that I wouldn't have given birth to the most precious gift to me.
What I'm saying is that we would be together, currently I would be on your team.
To think that you've moved on, and now taking care of a family not of your own.
It's hard for me to understand, so I know its even harder for a three year old.
I've made the bed I lay in each and every night.
That's why I don't bitch or complain, you already know that this shit aint right.
And when time goes by, and he gets older, my son will know who loves him the best.
Not to say that you don't love him, but as a child you settled for less.
When you were with me, you were my man that took care of his responsibilities.
Now you let a woman take care of your lazy ass, its only the beginning of your miseries.
Has been so exhausting and I need your help in a physical way.
I talk a lot about not needing you, and in fact you can be replaced.
But in reality, this is your son, so indeed this is your space.
I work hard, to do what I can, to provide your son with the best.
What I would do to go back in time, I wouldn't be alone handling this mess.
I'm not saying that I wouldn't have given birth to the most precious gift to me.
What I'm saying is that we would be together, currently I would be on your team.
To think that you've moved on, and now taking care of a family not of your own.
It's hard for me to understand, so I know its even harder for a three year old.
I've made the bed I lay in each and every night.
That's why I don't bitch or complain, you already know that this shit aint right.
And when time goes by, and he gets older, my son will know who loves him the best.
Not to say that you don't love him, but as a child you settled for less.
When you were with me, you were my man that took care of his responsibilities.
Now you let a woman take care of your lazy ass, its only the beginning of your miseries.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
