August 18, 2008


Three and a half years ago I gave birth to the one precious being that means the world to me.
Everything I do, everything I work hard for, its for him, and I know one day he'll see.
When things get hard I remind myself to work even harder and in the end I'll appreciate what I've worked so hard for.
But still even with this thought it mind, its still hurts to work hard and only slowly do I see a little bit more.

So I fall back, exhale and think about everything that I need to do.
Think about the reasons that I make the decisions that I do, and why in my head I have so much to prove.
Although the livelihood of my little one has been the single priority of my life since he's been born
And although I try so hard I know deep down in my heart I'm ungrateful, because I strive for so much more.

I mean I'm grateful that he's here and he's made the mark that he has on my heart.
But there are so many nights I cry feeling like my brain has been torn apart.
Thinking about paying my bills, taking care of my seed solo, $600 a month for private school care.
While I'm out here taking care of myself, got a real job not depending on anyone nor the government, but because I'm not a college graduate you stare.

She messed up her life, made a big mistake she had so much to look forward to.
I've heard this in my ears for the last 3 in a half years and I realized that I still have so much to do.
Yeah it might be harder, but my son has made me even stronger, so every doubt that I've ever had in my mind.
Goes away immediately because I know regardless of what I've been told repeatedly, everything that I said I was going to do will eventually be done in time.

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